13th November


Another early start but off to the gym first another bad nights sleep but it’s just the way it is think way to much coffee yesterday.

Manic day yesterday enough said.


12th November

How strange woke up today feeling like I had a hangover! Another hectic day in Ireland all day arrived late at airport stressed and me and airports are a prime place for me and my best friend to catch up. I saw lots of people drinking in the bars at 7 am and I thought how could they but this used to be me getting as much down my neck as I could sad sad sad.

It has struck me over the past few months how lonely and shy I am and have been all my life that’s why I used my best friend to help take this away. I have a lovely family and kids but no real friends etc.IMG_2719.JPG


Back at Belfast airport after a mental day was offered by my best friend a drink with the others but declined for a coffee instead



Listened to a song ok way home from airport Sterophonics Maybe Tommorow the words some up how I feel right now

11th November

Another fresh start today, I have totally accepted that I have no control and am powerless when it comes to my best friend he takes no prisoners and will not settle for a casual chat it all or nothing it’s not fair we cannot have a normal relationship but that’s just the way it is. My life without him would be so much better and is better. I have decided to write him a letter to end our relationship at some stage this week.

Stupid as its sounds I had an argument with my partner as I said I was not taking my best friend to a wedding she said why would you want to do that I said because me and my best friend will end up falling out and spoiling a good day………let’s see




November 10th

Driving to the gym this morning I saw an advert for a beer saying pure gold serious how can you get away with saying that a poison that had serious negative health affects on your body be called pure gold !!

The day has started with such a clear head and good attentions now a 3 hour drive to Newcastle to battle with me demons



9th November

It is time for big changes that’s all I want to say today

What a day at the beach does it get any better


The 15 rule and understanding halts are critical to success

How will I cope without my best friend the one I have had for 25 years we have been all over together but I guess like all love hate relationships this one must end or my partner in crime will have the better off me. It has become very clear that this friend has no place in my life no purpose at all well not unless you count the first 20 minutes of every time we meet after that the pleasure passes and will always end up falling out!!

Continue reading 9th November

I woke up today on the 9th November and decided to change my life