16th April

Long day up at 4.45am and home at 10pm. Early flight to Luton then a train to London. So many stomach churning thoughts when I landed in Luton as this was where I went totally off the rails, many memories came flooding back using drink and drugs most days holding down a very good job, driving while smashed going through a nasty divorce. Doing lines of coke in most places possible just to enable me to get through the day and drink more……the list could go on and on and on…if I had not moved away in 2008 I would of been dead now fact. Anyway I returned back to the airport with 4 hours to play with my mind racing shall I drink to kill the boredom shall I just go for it! I sat there in Starbucks and got a grip thinking how far I had come not to go down that route I actually sat there and rememberd one time arriving at the airport to fly off on work drunk coke in my pocket and just carried it through security without a care in the world and then sat in the departure lounge drinking and going to the disabled toilet every half an hour for a line the same toilet was still there……many emotions passed through me mostly not nice what must of I looked like god knows…….anyway I didn’t drink I just drank water and tea sat in a restaurant catching up on lots of work watching people get pissed at the bar but who was I to judge anyone considering the antics I had got up to at that very airport…

Thank god that I am here today to write this entry, I could of been in prison or worse off dead😓

Brighter note move house in the morning so lots to look forward to.




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